


Dysphoria

by endlessfandoms



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Angst, Canon Non-Binary Character, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Gender Dysphoria, Hurt/Comfort, Intersex, Intersex Reader, JPPS, Jesse Pinkman Protection Squad, Nonbinary Character, Other, bisexual Jesse Pinkman, understanding Jesse Pinkman, you stand up for yourself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-18 11:27:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29242824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessfandoms/pseuds/endlessfandoms
Summary: cw: mention of binding, harassment, transphobia, swearing, gender dysphoriafor readers that use they/them/their pronouns, bind and/or are intersex or afab
Relationships: Jesse Pinkman/Non-Binary Reader, Jesse Pinkman/Reader, Jesse Pinkman/You
Kudos: 4





	Dysphoria

Jesse knew you were non-binary. a lot of people did. it was a little difficult to go out in public without people figuring it out. unlike binary-trans people, non-binary people had much less luck passing, or what some people would call 'go stealth' when with other people.

it made you uncomfortable when people would ask what was in your pants, but you just did your best to shrug them off, especially when Jesse wasn't with you. he'd always tell the people to fuck off- most of them were rude about it, saying that you were 'wrong in the head' for thinking you were other than what your birth sex was.

you felt even worse for Jesse because it was more common than you'd originally thought. you felt bad every time he stood up to people for you, made you feel like he felt he needed to do it, even made you feel weak because you couldn't just stand up to people yourself.

he had the best of intentions, and you really did appreciate the fact he wanted to help you, but sometimes it only embarrassed you. you wanted your boyfriend, not a bodyguard. you wanted to ignore the people and just keep moving on with your life, but Jesse, bless him, would just try his best to be helpful.

one day when this happened, you didn't speak a word until you'd gotten home. "(y/n), please tell me why you're not speaking to me- did i do something wrong?" his voice cracks. you take a deep breath and turn to him, "i-i want you to stop t-telling people off when they misgender me or ask what's in my pants..."

you hopes you didn't sound ungrateful, but it's what you wanted to say, "i appreciate what you're going for, but i want to be with my boyfriend, not my bodyguard. i want to be able to tell people in my own words that i use they and them pronouns. i d-don't want you to stand up for me unless i want you to... i just, it's so stressful when you get upset at strangers over nothing-"

"(y/n), it's not nothing. it's how you identify and it's impor-" you cut him off, starting to get a bit upset, "Jesse, every single day," your voice is shaky as you keep yourself composed, "every day, i wake up and remember that no matter what, i am different. i will never feel zero gender dysphoria in my life. binding my chest may give me gender euphoria, but it still proves that i need to bind in order to feel 'normal'. you- you will n-never understand what i have grown up with or know what i go through every single day when i don't look like a binary gender and someone has to bring it up. i am dysphoric nearly every second of my life-" you feel tears dripping down your cheeks, "and that feeling of discomfort will never leave me until the day i go six feet under. my bones will always indicate what sex i am and no one will know that i am non-binary stuck in a binary body. you, will never, understand that! so, please, d-don't stand up for me- unless i explicitly ask you to... please, i can't take it anymore, Jess."

the room is silent, tense. you can't bring yourself to look at him, so you turn away, tears falling freely onto your face now. "okay, (y/n), i won't anymore. i'll do my best to understand the best i can on... everything. i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, but i wish you could've told me sooner..."

"trust me, i did want to tell you, but i was afraid you'd... i dunno, not understand or s-something-" Jesse moves into your line of sight and hugs you gently, "the last thing i want you to feel is afraid of telling me you're uncomfortable about something, alright? you can tell me anything at any time. you're my amazing partner and i'll take care of you to the best of my abilities. i want you to know that."

you lean into his hug, tears soaking into his shirt as you nod, "okay. thank you, Jesse." he kisses the top of your head, "of course, baby." you look up at him, "i love you."

Jesse kisses you sweetly, a hand cupping your cheek, "i love you too, (y/n)."

**Author's Note:**

> consider buying me a coffee! it'll help me keep writing what i love :,)  
> https://ko-fi.com/samw02


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